I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
