It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
