You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
