I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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