Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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