just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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