If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
