I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
