He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
