My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
