Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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