everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
