I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize