Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize