Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize