yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
