I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
