I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize