he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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