Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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