There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
