I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
