you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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