I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
