Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize