Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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