He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
