the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
