Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
