sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize