The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
