when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
