ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
