I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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