You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
