But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize