Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
