woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
