I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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