i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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