Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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