He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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