So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
