Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
