You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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