I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
