I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
