OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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