He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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