i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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