you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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