Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
