He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
