We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My vagina is officially offended.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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