just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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