Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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