i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wish you could order shots online.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
