Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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