Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
