I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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