if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
