I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
