so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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