I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize